Friends, H E L L O!
I have not written in so so long and I wanted to give you all my sincerest apologize. I just have not been very “social” on social media lately because well… life.
Aka finishing spring semester last Wednesday and trying to make the most of my time before starting summer nursing school this past Monday!
A few pictures of one last Mr.Freeze visit with these girls, Caleb and I’s Columbus adventure, then mom and I’s weekend in Indy (we visited a tea room)!
Not only has the business of life been stopping me from writing and I know it sounds silly but I also might have felt a little intimidated from my last post. I am sure most of you read how I poured out my heart about my past, my family, my mistakes, but most importantly my CONSTANT God (if you haven’t read this yet I am going to link it here: Why, God). And I appreciate all the feedback I got from you. You are the reason I keep writing. I felt God move through that vulnerability but honestly after that post I haven’t really felt like I had much of anything else valuable enough to share.
(as you see that didn’t last too long because here I am, back at it haha)
So now that I have caught you up to speed on that, lets move into some more present issues.
Do you ever feel like you finally find yourself after “x” amount of time just to have another life change occur and leave you to feel as though you’ve lost yourself all over again and you’ve got to restart?
Like I mentioned above I am currently taking classes full time at The University of Toledo Health Science Campus.
All. Summer. Long.
I was praying about a place to live all spring semester and God answered my prayers by sending a young christian couple from my church to open up their home to me. Jenny, my kind and loving discipler from an organization called CRU (campus crusade for Christ) and her husband Jason became my “new roomies” and gave me a place to stay for FREE.
*I am so blessed and God is so good*
Transitioning from high-school to college really wasn’t that difficult because I had one of my best friends from high-school right there with me and a group of boys from my youth group that I am really close with there too. Yes, I made new friends also and I had amazing roommates last semester who I already miss dearly that I hung out with a lot but now everyone is home for the summer. I came back this past Sunday feeling like it was just me. Honestly feeling pretty alone…
On Monday, the first day of classes, this was a pretty hard pill to swallow. I knew a lot of people in my classes; however, nobody there was anywhere near a ” best friend.” Heck, not really even anyone I would consider really a “good friend” of mine. I was kind of feeling like everyone already had their ‘click’ and I was kind of a tag along…. I didn’t quite know where I fit in.
After classes on Monday we are scheduled to have clinical on Tuesday; however, we aren’t starting that until June 5 which means I had to figure out something to do all day Tuesday. Let me remind you… with basically no friends here.
Most people in my class saw this as great news but as for me… I was seriously freaking out guys.
I was texting some potential people to hang out with, I considered going home that night, I really tried to think of anything to stay busy and ignore the dreaded silence of being alone. Until I finally stopped… breathed… and started looking at my circumstance in a different light.
I didn’t want to face the silence because I didn’t want to face the reality that a lot of things in my life and this summer are different. Like really different… My friends, my home, even my college campus is different and those are all such good things, exciting things… but also all things that are a little scary. No, really scary.
This is the losing yourself and feeling like you have to restart all over again thing that I was talking about earlier.
I realized up until Monday night though that I was focusing on the negative things in my life rather than focusing on all the good things that this summer could bring as long as I let it and I am open to this change!
So if you are that person that feels like their life is changing all over again or know that change is coming I want to encourage you to just try and focus on the positive things that the change could bring. When you start facing difficulties remember the things you have now that you are grateful for. Remember that the difficulties you face now WILL build your character later.
If you are feeling like me and just aren’t sure where you fit in yet or haven’t quite found your community of people yet, remember it’s okay to be alone sometimes! Take the time to just do the things you love to do. Turn your attention to God and watch as the problems you’re facing begin to decrease in size.
As for me on Tuesday instead of surrounding myself with people I took this time to be alone and really get some quality time reading my bible and learning more about my Heavenly Father. I was able to spend 8 hours just connecting with nature, in the sunshine, and my spirit and it was exactly what I needed.
Struggles produce–> Perseverance which produces–>
Character which produces–> HOPE
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Hope you guys all have a blessed weekend and remember to give thanks this weekend to your mothers!! Hope you guys are excited as I am for a great summer thats up ahead!